In just over a month I’ll be set to celebrate another turning page, my 20th one, and I must say that this 19th year of my life has been an incredibly productive and growth-filled year. At many points throughout it, I have reflected on, recorded and recalled my experiences of the past year with a sense of accomplishment and overall contentedness with the point at which i am. However, one thing that has surprised me each time is the fact that I forget that….I am still only 19. I cannot possibly imagine the person I will be in 5 years and beyond, and this thought excites me. I feel as though this is a very liminal point in my life so far; without wanting to sound like Britney, I don’t necessarily view myself as an adult woman, but I am also not really a ‘girl’ anymore. And I like that. I honestly really enjoy watching myself from the outside and observing the person I am growing into.
On the greater topic of age, it seems that as many of us grow older, the word employs greater meaning. The concept of age goes from just that: the word ‘age’, in which we seem unconcerned with it, as if we will live forever. This then transforms into (potentially) endless justifications for it: ‘oh, but age is nothing but a number…’, which subsequently morphs into the fight against ageism and a society which rejects this natural and universal inevitability of life. But this needn’t be viewed as a pessimistic outlook towards growing up, it is simply an observation that a lot of us make and experience. I, for one, am a strong believer in the beauty and grace of growing up and growing old: it is one of the few, or many, things that the majority of us can look forward to. One thing I am particularly excited about is the opportunity to read my journals and notes from days gone, and recall the memories of the awesome life I have lived. But back to the present – this is where I am. I will not wish these days away, I very much intend to live them fully :).